LOVE <3 LOVE <3

Saturday, July 09, 2005

pms-ing.
im missin school. somehow. =i feel like shit.
i wanna help u. but i duno how. i wan to take awae all the pain inside you. i wan to see the smile. i wan you to be around. i wan to be there for you. i wan you to be happy. but how. how. how. tell me how. and i will do them for you. you noe i feel sooo bad now. hafin fun in school. laughing like mad in lessons. and hafing things i wan. i feel guilty. i wan you to be happy like me. give me the power to do so. i wan you to be noisy. to be happy. to be like you.
i wan you. somehow. i duno if i haf lose you. but somehow. i feel tt you are gone. something is missing. i miss you i think. i think i do. i alwaes thot i wont. and i dont. but i think i am. i think im a bitch. ok. i think i am. i wan you yet i dont. cos i don think it's mutual. cos i don haf feelings. i don feel anithing for you. or maybe i am decieving myself. or maybe im jus running awae. maybe im jus afraid to like you. maybe i do. maybe i dont. do i. or i do not. i wan to see you. i wan to talk to you. i wan to ask u soo many questions. but im afraid of ur answers.
you. i noe i do. but i duwan. and i dont noe if u do. i jus feel sooo insecure. i think i am jealous. why cant i haf u all by myself. but seriously. im happy when im with u. reallli. i wan to be with you. i think of u. but it doesnt work this way. it doesnt. i wan myself to wan you onli. but i cant commit. i wan to please you onli. but i must be responsible. i cant abandon them. they were there for me when i needed them. i cant be wang en fu yi. but you make me happy. i like to see you. i like to spend my time with you. i can never get enough of you. i wan us to live in the world i wan the world to be. its impossible. jus like you and me.
youu. i duno why. it jus somehow hit me hard when i noe that u are not mine. i hate it. when i think of the past. i hate it even more when it din work out. if onli it did. but it's too late. we are not fated. i don like it when i see you and her. i jus don. it doesnt feel nice. i wan you to be mine. somehow. but u wont. and u will never be. if only you were mine. then i wont haf to go thru all these.
and you. wad do u treat me as. why. u came and u left. without even looking back. we were so close. now we are jus hi and bye friends. maybe u are busy. but is that an excuse to chuck me aside. or is it for real. i duno wad am i to you. tell me. im afraid. i think i wont get wad i give eventually. i think i jus miss hafing you arnd. cos i don haf anione to share my joy with now. i don dare to call you when i wan to. im afraid tt u dont wan to talk to me.
yes. nobody likes the feeling of being rejected. n unwanted. and why do i feel this way. it's soo silly. cos u wont haf the best things. you wont haf everything you wan. you wont get to live the life how u wan it to be. life is jus a series of disappointment, followed by death. =\

shedded at 9:19 AM